‘Gate To Hell’ Found

Archaeologists have claimed to have found the “Gates to Hell” in southwest Turkey. I thought it was in New Jersey. I suspected the Lincoln Tunnel was a portal. lincoln tunnel It looks nice here but wait until you get through to the other side.

 

Or, maybe Walmart’s front doors on Black Friday. Image

Looks like a gateway to hell to me.

Here are the “facts”. Francesco D’Andria and his team found a cave featuring Ionic semi columns with inscriptions dedicated to Pluto and Kore, the underworld’s deities. They also found the remains of a temple, multiple steps placed above the cave which is said to closely fit ancient writings on the site and a pool. They have a pool in hell! Hell, yeah!

D’Andria presented findings that a deadly vapor is in the cave. “We could see the cave’s lethal properties during the excavation. Several birds died as they tried to get close to the warm opening, instantly killed by the carbon dioxide fumes,” he said. I thought it would be sulfur but what do I know? Now that this expert let everyone know there is carbon dioxide in hell, I am thinking Pop Rocks and a nice carbonated beverage – Coke. But being it’s hell, it’s probably RC Cola.

Which is still too good for child molesters, murderers, lawyers and politicians. But hey, I don’t have to be with them so, whatever. I’m on a stairway to heaven where they have Coke (and Jack Daniels).

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